Flirting or Just Friendly: Is She In To You?

Many guys are brave and ask girls on dates just because they want to.  On the other hand, you may be looking for guidance or reassurance.  If you don’t want to put your heart on the line just yet, wait and see if a girl flirts with you.  If so, it is almost guaranteed she will accept your date invitation.  But, wait!  How do you tell if a girl is flirting with you or just being nice?

If she smiles.  A smile alone is hard to determine if a girl is just being nice or flirting, but it all depends.  To determine, quickly judge it.  Some are expressionless smiles, where they look forced.  In this instance, she is just being nice, not flirting.  On the other hand, you will have excited and seductive smiles.  A girl who smiles and giggles or blushes is excited about the contact made.  This is flirting.  A seductive smile means she has something going on beyond the scenes.  Of course, you should approach her, but with a seductive smile, she may just do it herself.

If she makes eye contact.  Eye contract can be tricky to determine if a girl is flirting with you.  This is because we all make eye contact.  We automatically scan a room when we enter it.  During that time, we are bound to make eye contact with someone.  So, if eye contact is made from afar, it may just be a coincidence.  But, if she approaches you and looks into your eyes when talking, she is flirting or at least genuinely interested in the conversation you are having.

If she checks out your body.  As previously stated, some women have a seductive smile.  A good sign it is time to make your move is if she smiles when looking over your body.  You know that not so casual once look over.  If she has that seductive smile on her face, act now.  It will work to your advantage.

If she separates herself from the crowd.  If in a group and the girl you are interested in leaves, watch her actions.  Are you at a bar?  Does she come and stand next to you to get her drink?  Chances are, she is not only flirting but also waiting for you to make conversation.  On the other hand, does she separate from the crowd and go elsewhere.  Unless she heads for the door or the bathroom, chances are she is interested in someone else.  In fact, she may be moving closer to him.

If she approaches you.  If you are in a public setting and are approached by a girl, chances are she is flirting with you.  Why is it that she picked you out of 20 other guys?  It may be because she finds you attractive.  If you are unsure, wait for other flirting signs.  Does she smile, make eye contact, ask questions, or stay and talk to you as opposed to hangout with her friends?  If so, she is flirting with you.

Now that you have an idea whether a girl is flirting with you or just being friendly, you may be wondering what next.  If she isn’t flirting with you, don’t let that stop you.  Still make contact.  You may not want to ask for a date right away, but why not just start a casual conversation?  You got nothing to lose.

If she is flirting with you, well that is another story.  You should jump right in.  Don’t assume that a girl who likes you will make the first contact.  Most flirt and then wait for a reaction.  This is because they want to know if the guy, which would be you, is interested.  If you are, show your interest.  Introduce yourself and start a conversation. 

After starting a conversation with a girl, regardless of whether she was flirting or not, if you still like her, ask her on a date.  “This was fun, why I don’t I give you my number and maybe we can get together sometime?” works great.  This is a great line to use, as shows your interest without apply pressure.  Never make a girl set a date right then and there unless she offers.  You want a date because she genuinely likes you, not because she feels pressured.

First Date Advice

Did you ask a girl you like out on a date?  Did she say yes?  Right about now, you may be excited.  As your date approaches, your excitement may turn to nervousness.  What should I wear? How should I act?  Where should we go?  Continue reading on for a few helpful tips.

Planning the Date

When you asked the girl on a date, what did you say?  If you asked her to the movies, that is where you should go.  Do not change a date location without first speaking to her.  This is one of the fastest ways to ruin a first date.  If you want to sneak in dinner or a drinks, that is okay, but always live up to your words.  If you do make changes, discuss them in advance.

If you asked the girl if she would like to go out with you, but didn’t provide her with a destination, start thinking about it now.  Don’t decide at the last minute, as this may result in disaster.  The best first dates are those where you can have fun and get to know the girl.  Opt for movie and a dinner, an outdoor concert, a picnic, bowling, and so forth.  If you are still at a loss for ideas, ask her for suggestions.

There are two ways to arrive at a date, together or separate.  When possible, you want to drive your date.  She may not accept your offer, but at least make it. 

Preparing for Your Date

For most men, preparation begins a few hours before date time.  Yes, this is true, but think about costs.  If you are on a budget, you need to financially prepare for your date ahead of time.  You can prevent this from becoming a problem by opting for an affordable destination.  For example, don’t choose a restaurant where you can’t afford half the food on the menu.

Most guys prepare for a date by showering.  This is a small, but important step.  Show up clean.  If you don’t think you will have enough time, try to leave work early, skip your afternoon at the gym, and so forth.  Do not assume that loading cologne on will hide your smell.  It may, but your date may also have a bad reaction to it.

The Date

You want to make a good first impression with your date.  The easiest way to do this is to arrive early.  Never be late for date.  If you will be late, call immediately.  Do not assume that all women are alike and running late.  Some women run on schedule.  Even still, you want to be on time even if you have to wait a few minutes for her.

The goal of a first date is to learn more about the one you are with.  For that reason, keep on talking.  Pauses in a conversation are common, but try to prevent them.  Ask your date questions and she should do the same.  If not, talk a little bit about yourself.

The most important thing to remember about first dates is that they aren’t supposed to be perfect.  Rarely will a first date go 100% as planned.  There will always be awkward moments.  There will always be pauses in the conversation and one of you is likely to say something slightly embarrassing.  If your first date doesn’t go as planned, don’t panic.  Hopefully, you will have a second chance to make a good impression.

Don’t Judge a Woman by Her Looks!

I know this tip may sound very cliché, but it’s true. At some point or another we’re all guilty of judging something, or someone, based on appearance alone. While it’s not right, we still seem to have that tendency to be superficial. This type of behavior can be very detrimental when it comes to seducing a woman. Women like to be appreciated for who they are, not what they look like. Even those women who have great physical beauty don’t necessarily want to be judged on that characteristic alone.

Women keep the thought in the back of their mind that one day they may want to have a child. If and when they become pregnant, look at all the changes their body goes through. The mere fact that their body has to expand at a very rapid pace to accommodate the growth of the baby is frightening. And the knowledge that their figure may never be the same is equally frightening.

Another thought that women have is that eventually we all get older and less youthful in appearance. We know that in general, a man is considered more distinguished looking when his hair takes on the salt and pepper look, whereas women merely look old. A few wrinkles on a man are no big deal, but for women the first sign of a wrinkle is cause to consider botox treatment, or more. Society has made women terribly self conscious. Bear in mind when considering what you truly believe is important in a woman. If looks is top on your list it will surely lead to a very dissatisfying experience for you, and your woman.

I’m not trying to say that you have to resolve to be happy with someone you find utterly unattractive. Women all have preferences in looks, personality and many other traits that we have to abide by. It’s a matter of compatibility. But what women do have to take into consideration is that attraction is not just a matter of physical appearance. So take the time to find out what’s inside before you discount women based on what’s outside.

First Date Conversation Ideas

If you are gearing up for a first date, you may be nervous about the conversation.  First dates become extremely awkward when the wrong things are said or when nothing is said at all.  If topics of discussion on your first date is a fear of yours, continue reading on for a few suggestions.

In terms of first date conversations, it is best to plan.  When doing so, break the date down into three different categories.  These categories are beginning, middle, and end.  When you consider each part of your date, as opposed to the whole night, coming up with conversation ideas doesn’t sound so hard.

As for the beginning of the date, it depends on how you start the night.  Did you pickup your date or meet her at the destination?  Regardless, opt for a quick greeting.  A simple “Hi, thank for coming,” should be the first words out of your mouth.

If you pick a date up at her home, greet her inside and then ask if she is ready to go.  Once you get to the car, hold the door open for her.  Once inside, ask if she is comfortable.  If not, make steps to ensure she is.  If she is comfortable, she will likely follow it with something like “you have a nice car.”  This is a good starting point.  You can mention when you bought it or how you got it for a great deal.  Then, ask her about her car.

Another good first date conversation in the car is about likes and dislikes.  Are you going to watch a movie?  Tell her you hope it is good.  Then, ask her what her favorite movie is.  If you don’t know it, ask her to summarize it real quick.  You can take the same approach with favorite restaurants, bars, music groups, and so forth.

If you meet your date at the destination, such as dinner or a movie, ask how the trip was. Ask if she found the place okay.  Do this before asking if she is ready to go inside.

Once your date starts, you will be reaching the middle of the night.  This is where you want to get to know your date.  So, ask questions.  When doing so, don’t dig too deep.  Ask about her family.  Does she have any siblings?  Ask about her job or college classes.  These questions always lead to conversation.  You can also use them to talk about yourself.  Does your date tell you she has a sister and then talk about her?  You can do the same, mention your family.

An awkward point in a date is the end.  If at a restaurant, you may be unsure when it call it a night.  If you are finished eating or drinking, see if your date is interested in doing something else.  Does she want to stop and have a few drinks or listen to a band at a local bar?  It won’t hurt to ask.

A good date relies on good conversation.  This should take place throughout the entire date, but the words you utter at the end of the night have the most influence.  Be sure to say you had a good time.  You will also want to ask her for a second date.  If the date didn’t go so well, you may be nervous about asking.  Instead of outright asking, say “You have my phone number.  Call if want to do this again.”

The Right Time To Say "I Love You"

Saying “I love you” for the first time is one of the sweetest things a person can do in his life and hearing it for the first time is one of the best experiences one can have, especially if the feeling is mutual. However, there are risks that are involved in saying “I love you” and if it is not done properly, all will be going down the drain from there.

Timing is one of the most essential elements in expressing one’s love towards another person. Knowing when to express one’s love can seal the deal between two potential lovers.

Here are some things which should be taken into consideration when planning to profess love to another person:

-Readiness

Saying “I love you” will bring a person into new horizons. Most often than not, saying “I love you” entails readiness to enter in a commitment. You profess your love with an assumption that you are ready to take in new challenges and that you are ready share yourself with someone else. The process shouldn’t be done haphazardly.

An assessment of one’s readiness to enter a relationship is a prerequisite to saying “I love you.” Every facet should be taken into consideration since a commitment entails additional time, effort and a decrease in the benefits one gets as a single person.

-Do you really love him?

A careful assessment of one’s feelings should also be done before saying “I love you.” When people date, feelings are often mixed and one feeling can be interpreted as another. Feelings of infatuation, admiration and lust can become synonymous to feelings of love especially when the relationship is in its heat.

One must ask himself if she really loves him a thousand times before saying yes after hearing it from him. It sounds like a cliché but this must be done so as to avoid making mistakes regarding this matter.

- Consequences

One must weight down the consequences which will be brought by saying “I love you.” There are times when the right thing to do is to say nothing at all. At times, being silent about one’s feelings is a way to manifest true love.

Many people fall in love with married persons. This is a classic example which can be used to describe the importance of weighting the consequences of saying “I love you.” Refraining from saying those three words maybe the right thing to do in this situation.

-Read his thoughts
With him saying “I love you,” one must be ready for whatever response she might give instantly. Maybe not all relationships get past the I-love-you stage, but there are relationships which can really benefit from the right timing of saying “I love you.”

If one feels that the feeling is mutual, this is a good sign to continue. But of course, evaluating the guys’ thoughts should be done with complete honesty so as not to force the issue.

-The moment

When all the assessments have been done, it all boils down to timing. If one wishes to say “I love you”  back to another person, several things should be taken into consideration when planning for this moment.

-Be ready for his response

Saying “I love you” is a very exciting moment and the risks that it carries add up to its excitement. When someone says “I love you” he must be prepared to take whatever response is given to him. Not all love stories end in happy endings. Think about possible response you'll see in his face after you say “I love you.” back. The response can bring utmost happiness or crushing hurt to the person who is professing his love.

Saying “I love you” can be a daunting task. A lot of preparation should be done to be able to get to that specific moment that could lead to a new relationship. Not all things go into plan but no matter how lousy one gets when professing his love, it shouldn’t really matter as long as he’s sincere and he knows what he is doing. Girls, that should be kept in mind.

All About Love

How do you know if you’ve ever been in love? Most people would argue that although being in love with someone is non-tangible, there is absolutely no doubt in their mind of it existing. In fact, if you are questioning whether or not you are in love, then you are most certainly not.

While I do not doubt for a second the existence of being in love (albeit being one of those sad individuals yet to experience it), I am somewhat perplexed over our perception of what constitutes humanities most sought after experience.

For me, falling in love with someone is a decision made based on the successful matching of ones own predetermined criteria or preferences.

I fondly refer to the preliminary stage of partner selection as the ‘terminator glasses’ phase, since it filters through a potential mate’s attributes and matches them off against our own unique preferences.

On the New Years Eve just passed I went to meet friends at a bar where we would be celebrating the evening. There, waiting at the door with my friend, I saw HIM for the first time. I did a quick terminator scan:
Height:  Around 6 foot. MATCH.
Build: Not too skinny, not too fat, not too buff. MATCH.
Hair: Short dark brown. Not over the top alla David Beckham. MATCH.
Complexion: Dark olive. MATCH.
Lips: Plump. MATCH.
Smile: Oh my God. MATCH.
Eyes: Big, brown, expressive, with long thick lashes. MATCH!
Stance: Gentle, not cocky. MATCH.
Nationality: Clearly foreign, probably Brazilian. MATCH.

With the terminator glasses still firmly planted on my face, the confirmed Brazilian was permitted to move onto the second part of phase one: interaction. This is often the most fatal part of any potential relationship, since every sentence uttered, every look given, and every movement is put through the filter of the terminator glasses. Any miss-match could lead to premature relationship death. Very little is forgiven during this part, especially if one’s program is set at ‘long term mate’. In saying this, it is also my favorite part of the process as it is the most fun. I see it as a game we both know we’re playing, but refuse to acknowledge as existing. One can withdraw from the game at anytime without repercussion (that is, of course, when both parties are working under the same set of rules. If this is not the case a few unwanted phone numbers are collected, followed by a few awkward conversations. And depending on how weak one is - unwanted dates followed by unwanted kisses, possibly ending in unwanted sex!).

Stage two, ‘the rose coloured glasses’ phase, is extremely dangerous and not usually approached with caution by either candidate. Depending on the impact of stage one, bombs warning ‘relationship doom’ could be dropped right in front of ones eyes, yet getting let go un-noticed. Everything appears and is, invariably, utterly workable. Despite my cynicism, this stage is defiantly more exciting than the terminator phase, albeit being laced with the fear of it all ending. The premature ‘I love you’ could escape ones mouth, falling like a ball onto a roulette table. The stakes are high, but it could also very well pay off and pass you onto stage three. Or not…

Declaring the title of stage three is difficult. And the truth is, I don’t know what to call it because I’m usually making my way to the green exit sign above the fire escape before you can say ‘marry me’.

My experience with stage three is that I usually realize Mr Perfect is human. I resist accepting him just the way he is, and try to point out where he is lacking (he is usually not so open to my constructive criticism. I wonder why?). This of course does not lead him to change his ways, but firmly ground himself in them (and resent me in the process). Love and commitment gets swapped with fear and dependence. Some stay to battle it out to the very end, most head straight for the green exit light.

People claim at this point that they have ‘fallen out of love’. My argument is that they were never in love in the first place. One of my favourite movies, ‘Moulin Rouge’, melodically states, “The greatest thing you will ever learn, is just to love, and be loved in return”.  I believe this is what we think being in love is all about.  Yet being loved in return implies that there is a condition to your giving love.  So romantic love is conditional love. If romantic love only goes one-way, it is termed unrequited love or even ‘desperate’.

What if I said that true love can only be unconditional?  And inside of that, true love can only mean 100% acceptance of the subject, just the way they are and just the way they’re not. What if love, real love, is just loving?

Anniversary Ideas For Everyone

Are you about to celebrate a special anniversary with the one you love? Whether you have been together one year or fifty years it is important to celebrate the day in a special and memorable way. Sometimes, as much as you want to bless the one you love in a unique way, it is hard to come up with great anniversary ideas. One of the best ways to think of ideas can be to take a look back through the years of your relationship.

You will be surprised by how many perfect anniversary ideas you come up with simply by remembering special parts about the earliest parts of your time together. For instance, can you remember back to the first date the two of you shared? If so, try to recreate the date over again as a way of celebrating how far you've come. If you are still in the same city this kind of anniversary idea will be much easier to pull off.

Do you remember the first song the two of you danced to or the first film you saw together? Great anniversary ideas are sometimes as simple as renting that first film again or tracking down that old love song and dancing to it again. You will bless and probably surprise your special someone by your planning and the creativity you put into making great anniversary ideas happen.

Brainstorming other anniversary ideas can be easy when you simply think about the things that you and the one you love enjoy doing together. Consider planning a getaway weekend to an area that you have both wanted to visit. Or take your special someone on the cruise they have always wanted to go on. Be extravagant and do everything you can afford to make sure your anniversary is special. Do you love to hike and spend time in the mountains? Perhaps the best anniversary ideas for you would include a camping trip or renting out a cabin in the mountains that you love. Look for ways to incorporate things you already love to do together.

Celebrating anniversaries can be one of the best ways to keep the spark alive in your relationship. When you remember where you have been and all of the hard times that you have gotten through together it will be easy to celebrate a variety of anniversary ideas that come to your head. And perhaps the most important thing to remember as you try to gather and narrow down anniversary ideas is that in the end all that will matter is that you and the one you love get to spend quality
time together.