Women! Get More Love By Giving Less.

Any woman can attract a better quality man or inspire the man she has to give her more love, affection and romance, by learning the truth about Overnurturing.

What is Overnurturing? It's doing too much in a relationship. Giving too much. It's the reverse of how a relationship works best for a woman.Giving is what men are supposed to do. Women are supposed to receive the love, affection and gifts that men give, and then give love and affection back to them. Though many of us have caught onto this, it’s challenging to stop doing what we’ve always done, what we’ve been told is the way to do things, and to fly in the face of the fallout we fear. So I’m going to tackle one little issue – Nurturing.

Nurturing is masculine. If you want to get what he wants to give, stop nurturing your man.

Radical as this sounds, try it. Stop doing. Stop giving. Stop massaging your husband’s feelings. Stop helping your date do the relationship thing and let him flounder until he figures it out. He will.

This whole concept of nurturing is a dilemma for most of us. We think of mothering, nurturing, caring for our young as a feminine aspect of ourselves.

It isn’t.

Nurturing and caring for others may be a female trait – Motherhood is female – but it’s still about action! Nurturing is about doing. Giving. Your energy goes out of you and toward or into someone else. When you give, you are acting from a masculine energy place.

We are so accustomed to the idea of nurturing being feminine, we get confused. We think being loving to our men is nurturing them. Massaging their bodies, minds and spirits. There is nothing wrong with the idea of nurturing – it’s the form our nurturing takes that causes so much difficulty. We are all composed of masculine and feminine (yin and yang) energies. We move through them fluidly at our best, and are stuck in one or the other at our worst.

But most of us are stuck at one extreme or the other. We either give too much all the time and then find ourselves resentful all the time, or we go the other way and make ourselves emotionally unavailable to our dates, our husbands, our boyfriends, and every man we meet.

Too often, our nurturing energies are perceived by men as mothering. Our actions seem intrusive. We seem to be judging them and finding them coming up short – otherwise why would they need taking care of? On the other hand, they love attention. Don’t we all?

To strike some sort of balance when we are all so mightily out of balance, I’m asking you to pull back to zero. To at least imagine pulling back to zero. The baby steps you actually take may seem huge. When you stop doing for your man what he doesn’t need you to do, yet has grown accustomed to your doing, may resent your not doing, and will certainly find himself relieved that you’ve stopped doing, things may get messy before they get better. But they will get better.

This is all about Overfunctioning.

What does Overfunctioning and Overnurturing look like?

You come to the door the moment he gets home and ask him how his day went. You offer to massage his neck, his feet, his back because he looks so tired (even though you’re just as tired.) Or you give your date directions to your house before he asks. And you invite him in and offer him something to eat or drink without even knowing what he has in mind for the evening. You offer to cook him a meal when he’s barely taken you out to a decent restaurant. You offer sex to your husband, without being asked, and even if you’re not in the mood, because you figure you should. You ask him how he feels, and demonstrate concern for his feelings and moods.

This sounds nurturing, but it’s not. It’s mothering. Nurturing a grown-up is giving him what he wants, not what you think he needs. Nurturing a grown-up is not tolerating what you don’t want. Not tolerating him treating himself badly or carelessly if it’s damaging to you or his relationship with you – this means smoking, eating badly, not working, never leaving the house.

And you do it not by telling him what he needs to do and helping him do it, but by telling him how angry it makes you feel when it’s happening. Or telling him how good it feels when he does something that makes you happy. Let him figure out how to take responsibility for making you and the relationship happy – on his end of it.

This is feminine energy – the expression of honest-to-goodness feelings. All the caretaking and fixing and doing and massaging and concern is masculine energy in action, and it will get you nowhere near what you want.

Try it the feminine way. Stop nurturing a grown-up man, and start expressing your feelings moment by moment. The first time is scary – but then, you’ll see – you’ll wonder how you ever loved any other way.

The Funny Side Of Saying - I Love You

Love, the feeling that makes a person new and feel heavenly. Love, a feeling that changes life within a moment. Have we not heard of love at first sight? One who was happy go lucky in the morning, gets deep and dreamy looks in the eyes by the time the evening arrives. What happened? He/she fell in love during the day and now does not know what to do?

The very first response of such people is dreaming. They have dreams during the night and more often during the day. They lose all attention to their work and the only work left for them is to think of their latest sweetheart. Then begins the planning of where to meet again? How to spot that lovely person again? Through friends, or what? Depends on where the love was found at the first place. After getting few glimpses more, the love deepens and the dreams become more frequent. But at the same time, fear sets in. What if the other party refuses to reciprocate? What if the other one does not like me? So looks are given immediate attention. 'What if the other party is already in love with someone? That will be horrible. Let me not think of that at all. And if it comes to that, I will move heavens to win my love.'

And the final question. How do I say, I Love You? Shall I send a letter with flowers? Shall I send the message through some friend? Shall I meet and dare to tell across the table? How about sending an anonymous letter saying that so and so is madly in love with you. How about you? Shall I first ask for a date and get to become more friendly and then come up with my proposal? One keeps on thinking of so many alternatives and then suddenly one day, blurts out. Please I love you. How about you? And the response is - I also love you since I saw you for the first time, but did not know how to say?

Love is in the Air on Valentines Day

Well, here we are in February and many people are celebrating St. Valentines. It is a good time to think about love and relationships to put a bit of warmth in our lives after a long winter.

Today, I would like to look at what love is.  The English language only has one word for love and it is used interchangeably for almost everything.  We can say I love my husband and I love Chocolate. 

Both are using the same word and it is only by the context that we can ascertain the difference.  The Greeks, on the other hand, have four different words to describe love.  Each word gives a different nuance to the word that helps us understand more fully what is being spoken of.

I want to look with you at the four Greek words for love.
These are:
1)    Eros
2)    Storge
3)    Philia
4)    Agape


Eros:
The first type of love we are all familiar with. Our English word Erotica is derived from this word. Sadly, some people never get passed this type of love and base their relationships purely on sexual attraction.  This is the type of love that merchandisers tend to play on with the public trying to get us to buy their products to make us more attractive to the opposite sex.  Unfortunately, aromatherapy is being misrepresented by these same people also to traffic their products. You would be surprised to see how many products are being offered specifically to attract the opposite sex using aroma.

Studies have been done trying to prove the theory of attraction through Pheromones based on animal instincts.  I personally feel that attraction of a life partner is much more than the basis of his/her smell.  In fact, it was impossible for me to fall in love with my fiancé based on smell as we met through ICQ on the Internet. It was impossible for smell to play any part in our meeting. Our relationship was based on character and friendship which later developed into love.  You can say we met each other and we just clicked ;-) (pun intended)

So, the point is that erotic love is not a deep meaningful love but superficial and based on sexual attractiveness only.

2) Storge:
This type of love is what we find in families between the different members.  It is the love of mother, father, brothers and sisters.  This is a much stronger type of love and involves commitment.  “Blood is thicker than water” and most people will do all they can to stand behind their families.

3) Philia:
This type of love is pertaining to what we might call a brotherly love.  Not brotherly in the sense of family, but in the sense of kinsmenship. This is the type of love that makes us want to help the little old lady cross the street safely and watch out for our fellow man.  It is a good type of love and helps us to see others as needing our love but, sadly, it can often also be a selfish love.  Many people only show love to others if they can get something out of it.  Thankfully, most people love out of pure motives.

4)Agape:
The fourth type of love is called Agape love.  This is the highest form of love there is. This is an unconditional love for others in spite of their character flaws and weaknesses. It is a difficult love to obtain simply because we, as humans, are usually concerned more with ourselves and how the world and people around us affect us. In order to love in the agape way, we must overcome our selfishness and look to the needs of others.  Prime examples of this type of love are people like Mother Theresa, Cardinal Leger etc.  These are people who look out for others interests above their own. It is a special kind of love that needs to be cultivated for it to grow.  We can only achieve this type of unselfish loving as we put the needs of others as a priority.

Without getting religious here, I just want to tell you there is a verse from the Bible that fits well with this concept. It is called the Golden Rule. Luke 10:27, says “Love your neighbour as yourself” and  "Therefore, whatever you want men to do to you, do also to them,  for this is the Law and the Prophets."  -Matthew 7:12 .  All relgions of the world share in this same philosophy. 

One thing that stuck out to me as I read these is that it says to love your neighbor as yourself.  Sadly, many people in this day and age, don’t love themselves.  If you don’t love yourself how can you love others?  Unconditional love needs to start with you. You must learn to accept the fact that you are a special and unique person.  Yes you have flaws, we are all human, but these flaws do not make you less of a person.  Learn to love yourself in spite of your shortcomings and accept yourself for who you are.  As you love yourself you will find it easier to love others.

The second thing that stands out is that the Golden rule says to do what you want others to do to you.  This is not the same as “Don’t do to others what you don’t want them to do to you.”  It is not a position of avoiding doing evil or harming others but an actual DOING of something for others.  This requires action on your part. It says “DO unto others”.  It is when we realize that we reap the rewards of love as we involve ourselves in the lives of others, making their lives easier and more pleasant, as we would want our own lives to be. 

Enjoy the month of Love and remember always to love yourself and to DO something for someone each day.

Looking for a good love message?

Are you looking for the right message to share with your loved one? Then Lovemessage.org is the right web site for you. This web site is dedicated on sharing any form of written love expression from love stories, love poems to sad messages. Sometimes, it is really hard to find the perfect love poem or love quote to write on a card or in a SMS message. But for sure, whatever you need, you will definitely find it here.

Upon entering the web site, you can already see the various sections that are all dedicated to sharing love messages that can help you. The first section is the love messages section where you can find simple love messages to your special someone. You can also find love quotes here that are really good to put in cards especially when you plan to give someone flowers or a gift. The next section is romantic messages. This section is specially made to cater to some of the most romantic messages you can ever send to your special someone. You might not see it, but you just might melt the heart of your loved one with that romantic message.

The next section is the flirty message section. You can try sending the messages here if you are flirting with someone or your lover. It is also good for a laugh or to make a loved one smile. There is also a section for love SMS messages. Since SMS has been a popular form of communication now, you can use this to text your special someone a sweet message to brighten up their day. However, if you really want to make your special someone smile bigger, you can try the funny messages section. There is also a section for messages about unrequited love and this is the sad messages section. If you love someone and that love is not returned, then you might find solace in these messages.

The next section is love songs where you can see lyrics of famous love songs that are dear to people. Lyrics of songs really strike us and you can use this to express what you really feel about your special someone. If you want something deeper than simple messages, you can try looking at the love stories, love poems, and love letters section. Why not try writing the love letter that Napoleon Bonaparte has written as well. Your special someone will find this really sweet and adorable of you.

With all these messages and love works, how can you not find something perfect for you and your special someone? Remember that your special some deserves to hear how much you love them as much as you can. And you also want this for your self too. Being in love is fun, love is fantastic. Keep telling the people around you how much you love them and don't take them for granted. Love does not come as often as we would want it, so when it shows up on your door step, open the door and welcome it. It will be fantastic.

Gift Basket Ideas for the Man in Your Life

Are you looking for a good gift idea for the man in your life?  Are you never quite sure what to get him?  Does he have t-shirts and ties you have gotten him hidden in the back of your closet?  Even if your man is hard to buy for, there are great ideas out there.  If you cannot think of a good gift for your man or are tired of giving him the same old thing, consider a gift basket.  Most men have some type of hobby.  It might be hunting, fishing, golf, or grilling out.  No matter what your man likes to do, chances are you can find a gift basket that will make him happy!

You can purchase gift baskets online, but if you do not have enough time for it to be shipped, you can check your local stores.  There may be stores that specifically make gift baskets listed in the phone book.  If not, you might contact a local florist as many of them also make gift baskets for special occasions.  If you cannot find a local shop and you do not have time to order online, do not panic.  Making your own basket is easy enough.  You can purchase a basket at any crafts store, use a blanket, apron, or paper to line it and stuff it full of goodies for your man! 

Here are a few gift basket ideas:

Grilling Gift Basket - Most men love to grill out.  If this describes your man, a grilling basket is a great gift idea.  You can fill it with many things but you may want to start with a cute apron.   You can go with one that is a cute pattern, like fish, chili peppers, or camouflage.  On the other hand, you may be able to find an apron with a cute saying like “Kiss the Chef” or one a little more risqué like “Barbecue Naked - Show Off Your Buns.”  On top of that, you can place grilling utensils such as a fork, spatula, brush or tongs.  You can also throw in your favorite bottle of barbecue sauce and a nice bottle of wine to enjoy when the grilling is done. 

Gone Fishing Gift Basket - If your man likes to fish, he will love a customized Gone Fishing gift basket.  Not only will he enjoy the items in the basket, but also know that in giving him this, you are also giving him a day of fishing!  You can line this basket with paper and pile in all his fishing favorites.  One nice item to add would be a portable fishing scale/tape measure so he can see exactly how big his catch is.  You can also load the basket with scented bait, a trout blaster hook, lures, a bait dip net, a pair of Titanium Pliers – the possibilities are endless.  You might even throw in the new reel he has had his eye on!  You can also fill his basket with snacks for your angler like toasted sesame seed crackers, beef jerky, salted peanuts, and Oreo cookies.  If you can find some cute fabric with fish on it, use that to make a bow on top of the basket.
NASCAR Gift Basket - NASCAR fans love almost anything NASCAR gift related.  You can fill your man’s basket with his favorite driver’s toy replica cars or a coffee cup with his favorite driver’s number and colors.  You can add to the basket a hat, t-shirt, bumper stickers, coasters, magnets, or a key chain.  Does your man like to play darts?  There are even NASCAR darts!  If you really want to give him something extra special, order tickets to his favorite NASCAR race ahead of time and hide those in his basket.

Hunting Gift Basket - If your man likes to hunt, many things can be used to fill a gift basket.  Look for picture frames of ducks, deer – whatever he likes to hunt.  You may be able to find a clay pigeon letter holder, a bullet box he can keep on his desk to store paper clips, or a DVD on how to be a more successful hunter.  You can peruse your local hunting goods store to get plenty of good ideas.

No matter what you man likes, he will love a basket filled with goodies of his favorite hobby or sport.  He will also love knowing that you took the time to get him something you knew he would really enjoy!

Yes, You Can Have a Romantic Valentine's Day, On A Budget

While we would all like to whisk our partner away to celebrate St Valentine's Day at an exotic five star resort, I know I can't afford it, just yet!

Here are some ideas for Valentine's Day luxuries on a budget that will amaze your partner. And if you do it just right, with a little creativity, you can have the ultra-romantic day that will convince your loved one of how much you love him or her. Again.

Getting out into the open air, just the two of you, is a great way to spend Valentines. Head for the hills or the state park. There are walks to suit all - whether its an easy walk or a more demanding hike. Remember, it's February, so its likely that the place will be deserted and you will have all that natural beauty to yourself. And outdoor privacy is so romantic!

Take along a special picnic when you go out. In a small picnic basket collect a tablecloth, a vase with a realistic rose in it, 2 taper candles with holders (don’t forget a lighter) and a lovely meal for two. When you reach the picnic area you can surprise your partner by setting the table for a romantic meal. Sit down and enjoy!

You could take the picnic with you on a romantic drive, or for a day out kite flying or bicycling. Remember that it’s being together that is important.

The outdoors idea even works for couples that have children. There's always plenty for the kids to do if there is a safe and empty playground close by. What better way to celebrate your love than by keeping one eye on the children and reminding yourself why you love them, and their other parent, so much.

Don't fancy the great, romantic, outdoors? Cooking your romantic Valentine’s meal together is a great way to share the day. Male sure that your dinner choice is something you will both enjoy, even better if its a special treat you don't often have. Go over the top in decorating the dining room and go to town on the place settings. Make sure you both dress up in your best clothes, as if it was your first date, with your best jewelry and scent.

The main thing to remember is that if you are together you will have as romantic a time as you would have at a posh resort or an exclusive restaurant. It’s the thought that counts, not how much money you spend.

Valentine Candle Gift Basket

Come Valentine Day and one can see chaos among lovers in selecting a gift for their partner. Valentine Candle Gift Basket can be one of your perfect gifts for your loving partner. With Valentine Candle Gift Basket you can easily communicate your love, emotion and care for your partner. The basket includes scented and non-scented candles, oil warmer, candle holder as well as non-candle products. Candles are one of the unique and pure gifts that you can give to your partner. With the help of Valentine Candle Gift Basket you can make your next valentine very special and memorable.

You may prefer your nearby Candle Gift Shop, but wait, this time why don't you purchase valentine candle gift basket online? Candle Gift Idea will surely enhance your valentine day. It is absolutely cheaper and has the quality of uniqueness. The gift basket varies as per your convenience and your budget. But the commodity that you get is absolutely designed for your satisfaction. You may have heard that candle is a symbol of truth and faith. So why don't you present candle gift basket to your dear ones?

Each Valentine Candle Gift Basket is designed uniquely so as to communicate your feelings. The candle's shape and categories also varies if you wish for. The valentine candle gift basket that you receive through the online services is one of the top collections and has an excellent fragrance quality with superb candles and holders. Each basket is wrapped nicely and carries a message that you want to communicate.

The candle when burn creates romantic and lovely atmosphere that one desires for. It is the best opportunity to pamper your partner with unique valentine candle gift basket and to light your future. The valentine candles, which are offered in gift basket is manufactured by reputed manufacture and have delicate and unique designs.

Things to Never Tell your Boyfriend about your Ex

Never bring up anything that has to do with a past ex. This is guaranteed to cause a fight.  It is the ultimate taboo conversation. Honesty and open relationships are great, but some things should be kept in the closet. Don't risk damaging a good relationship by mentioning meaningless times from the past.

1) Don't ever talk about him. Even if what you're saying is uncomplimentary, it will still have a negative effect. Your bringing him up hints that he's still on your mind.

2) Never say how good he was at anything. Doing this will create unnecessary anxiety and feelings of inadequacy with your guy.

3) Avoid telling him about intimate and special moments that you and your ex shared. Yes, it's important that he knows about you. And, yes, he needs to learn to deal with his insecurities. But...why make him insecure in the first place? Is it really that important for him to know everything about you?

4) Never mention your sexual past...especially if it was good. If your boyfriend asks you what it was like or how good it was, lie if you have to. Say it wasn't all that.

5) Avoid telling stories or reminiscing about events that involved your ex...even if the story has little to do with him. Examples are: "I went to a great restaurant once..." or "Last year I went to this amusement park and had a great time..." or "I went to the beach last summer..."

Observing these 5 basic principles that will ensure that the quality of your relationship reaches its full potential.   If you haven’t been following these general rules up to this point, you probably don’t know what the true quality of your relationship could be.  And, you’ve probably got a boyfriend with a lot of pent up anger, frustration, and insecurity.  If that’s the case, then you can turn over a new leaf today and get thing headed in the right direction by making a few changes in the way you’ve been acting.

Say - I Love You With Ecards And Avoid Embarassment

I love you - how to say this? Many of us in love have great difficulty saying this. Yesterday I read a post by a girl in a forum saying that her boy friend was waiting for her to say I love you and she was waiting for him to say-I love you.

How about using ecards to say I love you avoid the hesitation? This takes courage to say I love you for the first time, because the reaction is never known and one worries about what the reaction may be. Ecards are the best way to say I love you and wait for the response. You will avoid lot of trouble with this method.

Love ecards come under different topics. They are generally - Free Love Ecards, Be Mine Forever Ecards, Birthday Ecards, Crazy In love Ecards, Let Me Love You Ecards, Love Notes Ecards, Miss You Ecards, Marry Me Ecards, and I Love You Ecards.
Depending on your need of expression, you can chose few of these ecards and send them across.

Select lovely colors of ecards. The design should be very beautiful and enchanting. The whole effect should be very romantic. The recipient should go in the romantic mood after looking at the ecard. Love and romance should pour from the ecard and the text should be very exciting and passionate. Love is a game of feelings. The cards should do that with design, images, text and color.

Select the right ecard and send it across. If your choice is right, you will get one card saying I love you in return mail. To express the intensity of your love, send as many ecards as you can at the very first instant and hope for the best. It will happen.