The Right Time To Say "I Love You"

Saying “I love you” for the first time is one of the sweetest things a person can do in his life and hearing it for the first time is one of the best experiences one can have, especially if the feeling is mutual. However, there are risks that are involved in saying “I love you” and if it is not done properly, all will be going down the drain from there.

Timing is one of the most essential elements in expressing one’s love towards another person. Knowing when to express one’s love can seal the deal between two potential lovers.

Here are some things which should be taken into consideration when planning to profess love to another person:


Saying “I love you” will bring a person into new horizons. Most often than not, saying “I love you” entails readiness to enter in a commitment. You profess your love with an assumption that you are ready to take in new challenges and that you are ready share yourself with someone else. The process shouldn’t be done haphazardly.

An assessment of one’s readiness to enter a relationship is a prerequisite to saying “I love you.” Every facet should be taken into consideration since a commitment entails additional time, effort and a decrease in the benefits one gets as a single person.

-Do you really love him?

A careful assessment of one’s feelings should also be done before saying “I love you.” When people date, feelings are often mixed and one feeling can be interpreted as another. Feelings of infatuation, admiration and lust can become synonymous to feelings of love especially when the relationship is in its heat.

One must ask himself if she really loves him a thousand times before saying yes after hearing it from him. It sounds like a cliché but this must be done so as to avoid making mistakes regarding this matter.

- Consequences

One must weight down the consequences which will be brought by saying “I love you.” There are times when the right thing to do is to say nothing at all. At times, being silent about one’s feelings is a way to manifest true love.

Many people fall in love with married persons. This is a classic example which can be used to describe the importance of weighting the consequences of saying “I love you.” Refraining from saying those three words maybe the right thing to do in this situation.

-Read his thoughts
With him saying “I love you,” one must be ready for whatever response she might give instantly. Maybe not all relationships get past the I-love-you stage, but there are relationships which can really benefit from the right timing of saying “I love you.”

If one feels that the feeling is mutual, this is a good sign to continue. But of course, evaluating the guys’ thoughts should be done with complete honesty so as not to force the issue.

-The moment

When all the assessments have been done, it all boils down to timing. If one wishes to say “I love you”  back to another person, several things should be taken into consideration when planning for this moment.

-Be ready for his response

Saying “I love you” is a very exciting moment and the risks that it carries add up to its excitement. When someone says “I love you” he must be prepared to take whatever response is given to him. Not all love stories end in happy endings. Think about possible response you'll see in his face after you say “I love you.” back. The response can bring utmost happiness or crushing hurt to the person who is professing his love.

Saying “I love you” can be a daunting task. A lot of preparation should be done to be able to get to that specific moment that could lead to a new relationship. Not all things go into plan but no matter how lousy one gets when professing his love, it shouldn’t really matter as long as he’s sincere and he knows what he is doing. Girls, that should be kept in mind.


All About Love

How do you know if you’ve ever been in love? Most people would argue that although being in love with someone is non-tangible, there is absolutely no doubt in their mind of it existing. In fact, if you are questioning whether or not you are in love, then you are most certainly not.

While I do not doubt for a second the existence of being in love (albeit being one of those sad individuals yet to experience it), I am somewhat perplexed over our perception of what constitutes humanities most sought after experience.

For me, falling in love with someone is a decision made based on the successful matching of ones own predetermined criteria or preferences.

I fondly refer to the preliminary stage of partner selection as the ‘terminator glasses’ phase, since it filters through a potential mate’s attributes and matches them off against our own unique preferences.

On the New Years Eve just passed I went to meet friends at a bar where we would be celebrating the evening. There, waiting at the door with my friend, I saw HIM for the first time. I did a quick terminator scan:
Height:  Around 6 foot. MATCH.
Build: Not too skinny, not too fat, not too buff. MATCH.
Hair: Short dark brown. Not over the top alla David Beckham. MATCH.
Complexion: Dark olive. MATCH.
Lips: Plump. MATCH.
Smile: Oh my God. MATCH.
Eyes: Big, brown, expressive, with long thick lashes. MATCH!
Stance: Gentle, not cocky. MATCH.
Nationality: Clearly foreign, probably Brazilian. MATCH.

With the terminator glasses still firmly planted on my face, the confirmed Brazilian was permitted to move onto the second part of phase one: interaction. This is often the most fatal part of any potential relationship, since every sentence uttered, every look given, and every movement is put through the filter of the terminator glasses. Any miss-match could lead to premature relationship death. Very little is forgiven during this part, especially if one’s program is set at ‘long term mate’. In saying this, it is also my favorite part of the process as it is the most fun. I see it as a game we both know we’re playing, but refuse to acknowledge as existing. One can withdraw from the game at anytime without repercussion (that is, of course, when both parties are working under the same set of rules. If this is not the case a few unwanted phone numbers are collected, followed by a few awkward conversations. And depending on how weak one is - unwanted dates followed by unwanted kisses, possibly ending in unwanted sex!).

Stage two, ‘the rose coloured glasses’ phase, is extremely dangerous and not usually approached with caution by either candidate. Depending on the impact of stage one, bombs warning ‘relationship doom’ could be dropped right in front of ones eyes, yet getting let go un-noticed. Everything appears and is, invariably, utterly workable. Despite my cynicism, this stage is defiantly more exciting than the terminator phase, albeit being laced with the fear of it all ending. The premature ‘I love you’ could escape ones mouth, falling like a ball onto a roulette table. The stakes are high, but it could also very well pay off and pass you onto stage three. Or not…

Declaring the title of stage three is difficult. And the truth is, I don’t know what to call it because I’m usually making my way to the green exit sign above the fire escape before you can say ‘marry me’.

My experience with stage three is that I usually realize Mr Perfect is human. I resist accepting him just the way he is, and try to point out where he is lacking (he is usually not so open to my constructive criticism. I wonder why?). This of course does not lead him to change his ways, but firmly ground himself in them (and resent me in the process). Love and commitment gets swapped with fear and dependence. Some stay to battle it out to the very end, most head straight for the green exit light.

People claim at this point that they have ‘fallen out of love’. My argument is that they were never in love in the first place. One of my favourite movies, ‘Moulin Rouge’, melodically states, “The greatest thing you will ever learn, is just to love, and be loved in return”.  I believe this is what we think being in love is all about.  Yet being loved in return implies that there is a condition to your giving love.  So romantic love is conditional love. If romantic love only goes one-way, it is termed unrequited love or even ‘desperate’.

What if I said that true love can only be unconditional?  And inside of that, true love can only mean 100% acceptance of the subject, just the way they are and just the way they’re not. What if love, real love, is just loving?

Anniversary Ideas For Everyone

Willow Tree AnniversaryAre you about to celebrate a special anniversary with the one you love? Whether you have been together one year or fifty years it is important to celebrate the day in a special and memorable way. Sometimes, as much as you want to bless the one you love in a unique way, it is hard to come up with great anniversary ideas. One of the best ways to think of ideas can be to take a look back through the years of your relationship.

"Mom and Dad" Touching 8x10 Poem, Double-matted In Burgundy/Dark Green And Enhanced With Watercolor Graphics.You will be surprised by how many perfect anniversary ideas you come up with simply by remembering special parts about the earliest parts of your time together. For instance, can you remember back to the first date the two of you shared? If so, try to recreate the date over again as a way of celebrating how far you've come. If you are still in the same city this kind of anniversary idea will be much easier to pull off.

Do you remember the first song the two of you danced to or the first film you saw together? Great anniversary ideas are sometimes as simple as renting that first film again or tracking down that old love song and dancing to it again. You will bless and probably surprise your special someone by your planning and the creativity you put into making great anniversary ideas happen.

Brainstorming other anniversary ideas can be easy when you simply think about the things that you and the one you love enjoy doing together. Consider planning a getaway weekend to an area that you have both wanted to visit. Or take your special someone on the cruise they have always wanted to go on. Be extravagant and do everything you can afford to make sure your anniversary is special. Do you love to hike and spend time in the mountains? Perhaps the best anniversary ideas for you would include a camping trip or renting out a cabin in the mountains that you love. Look for ways to incorporate things you already love to do together.

50th Wedding Anniversary GiftsCelebrating anniversaries can be one of the best ways to keep the spark alive in your relationship. When you remember where you have been and all of the hard times that you have gotten through together it will be easy to celebrate a variety of anniversary ideas that come to your head. And perhaps the most important thing to remember as you try to gather and narrow down anniversary ideas is that in the end all that will matter is that you and the one you love get to spend quality
time together.

Top 10 Relationship Tips

Getting the Love You Want: A Guide for Couples, 20th Anniversary EditionWhat's the key to a successful relationship? Some might think that's the million dollar question. Sometimes it's just the simple things, that we easily forget or think are unimportant that  hold the key to a healthy and happy relationship. Read through the helpful tips below on how to make your relationship go the distance.

1. Without quality time together, your relationship will not survive. Aim to devote at least half an hour a night, and at least one day a month when the two of you spend time exclusively together.

2. You both want to feel secure within the relationship. A good relationship is built on compromise and a lot of give and take from both of you.

3. Often those little things that first attracted you to your partner can turn into nasty annoying habits. Learn to love your partner warts and all. Don't try to change them into something they're not, after all you fell in love with them just the way they were.

4. Money is one of the top conflicts between most couples. For the relationship to work, you need to address your finances and maybe even work out a budget.

5. Learn to argue well. Never say something to your partner that you wouldn't want to hear said back. Just remember, the one good thing they say about arguing, is the making up afterwards.

6. Communication is vital to all healthy relationships. Listen to your partner and avoid blame and judgement. Don't let your emotions dictate your behaviour. Remember just talking things over can help you to both have a deeper understanding of each other.

7. Sort out your sex life, it may start to go downhill over the years, don't just accept it. As soon as you notice it, address it with your partner and work out why, and what to do to bring back the passion. Maybe one of your prefers more sex than the other. Why not experiment with new ideas in the bedroom. Role play, dressing up, or maybe take your sex life out of the
bedroom and try new places. The introduction of marital aids into the relationship can also help to spice things up. Whatever you decide, remember communication is vital.

8. Try to keep your dependence and independence in balance. Tell your partner how much you need them, but don't get to dependent on them and cling to them all the time, as that can make your partner feel trapped. On the flip side of this, don't allow your partner to think you don't need them, by going or doing things without them. Try to keep a happy and healthy balance
between the two.

9.Learn to forgive. If you know you will never forgive your partner over something important, and feel the trust can never be regained then give yourself, and him a break and start again, with someone new.

10. Don't ever think that going to counselling is a sign of a failed relationship. It can turna bad relationship around and can also turn an average relationship into an excellent one. More and more people are turning to counselling today than ever, it shows you are both prepared
to try and make things better, which can't be a bad thing at all.

The fact remains, that whether you're dating or married, relationships are hard. It takes 100% commitment from both of you. However, healthy and long-lasting relationships are achievable and many couples have proven just that. Not everything is always going to be perfect but if you both choose to make it work then it can. And remember it's the little things that you sometimes do that can go a long way to making your relationship work.